With a trailer that promised very little indeed the remake of the 1982 classic certainly set itself up for failure, but surprisingly Conan The Barbarian holds up a lot better than expected, so you can only assume that most of the hatred for this film is coming from shattered fanboys angry at the fact that anyone would even attempt a remake.
Conan (Jason Momoa – TV’S Game of Thrones & Stargate: Atlantis) really was born with blood in his mouth, after his mother gave birth to him on the battlefield. Raised by his father, Corin (Ron Perlman – Drive, TV’S Sons Of Anarchy) his life is changed forever when his village is raided by an army led by Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang – White Irish Drinkers, Christina) and Conan is unable to save his father. Conan then makes it a life-long mission to free the enslaved and to stop Khalar Zym and his daughter, Marique’s (Rose McGowan – Machete, Dead Awake) evil plan from being put into place. This soon means he is responsible for protecting the ‘pure’ Tamara (Rachel Nichols – As Blood Runs Deep, TV’S Criminal Minds).
The haters of Conan The Barbarian are really doing a disservice to director, Marcus Nispel (Friday The 13th, Pathfinder) who actually has done quite a good job with the film. The 3D aspects of the film work really well and Nispel’s history of making horror films has helped him create a film that has action scenes equal to anything we saw in Lord Of The Rings mixed with some at-times confronting gore. Add this to the fact that the screenwriters did actually bother to create some sort of storyline and you are left with a film that actually stacks up pretty well against most action movies that are made these days. The one thing you can’t say is that you don’t have a connection with Conan because you do unintentionally find yourself barracking for him throughout the film.
Of course the big question heading into the film was whether or not Jason Momoa was any good as Conan. Well Momoa may not be the best actor of all time (but was Arnie any better back in ’82?) but he certainly holds his arm. You definitely don’t find yourself looking at the screen and thinking ‘how awful’, so you can only say he did an ‘okay’ job. However, the big surprise in the film is the sensational Rose McGowan who portrays the evil Marique hauntingly well.
If you’re looking to just lose yourself in an action film then you could do a lot worse than Conan The Barbarian. If you don’t go in expecting an Oscar winner then you certainly won’t be disappointed. Not great, but well worth the watch.
Year: 2011
Director: Marcus Nispel
Stars: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols
Classification: MA15+
Runtime: 113 mins
Buzz Rating: 
Out on DVD from 15th December, 2011